then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
