i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She made me pour olive oil on her.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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