I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
