can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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