I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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