Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
