I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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