Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
