tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just google imaged poop.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
