im about as happy as oj after his trial
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
