i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
