so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
