I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
