I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
