Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize