then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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