Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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