I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
