and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
