you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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