i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
no you cant smoke seaweed
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
