dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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