I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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