He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize