Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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