I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
