Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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