this beer tastes like vomit already
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
