wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
