i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she pinky promised me she was 18
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
