Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
tell me about the fingering
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
