i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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