Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
