Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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