D3 body, D1 cock
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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