That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
