So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
