i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Enjoy the penises
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
