Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
