i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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