based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
