a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
