You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
