Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
