I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
