Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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