I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
