I like my sex mixed with concussions.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize