Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
