Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
