I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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