people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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