It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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