i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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