just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
