Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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