I just made out with a guy for $7.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
