ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize