That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
