you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
