she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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