So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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