my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
