But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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