I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
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